Season 3, Episode 8
Art Wars is episode 8 of the third season of The Worst Witch. It was Preceded by Just Like Clockwork, and followed by Power Drill. Chronologicly, Cinderella in Boots fits between Just Like Clockwork and Art Wars.
It is Art Week at Cackle's Academy. To be more adventurous, Miss Cackle has invited Lynne Lamplighter, a local artist, to come to the school to mentor the girls with their artwork and teach more modern techniques.
Predictably, Miss Hardbroom refuses to take part. She doesn't think having the artist show up is a good idea either, and she doesn't like Lamplighter's pants. Miss Cackle says that she promised everyone would take part. Miss Cackle decides to turn the week into a competition and award a prize for the most impressive piece of artwork.
The third years and the staff listen to Miss Lamplighter talk about art for a while. She asks Miss Hardbroom what her favorite color is, "Black" and they talk about whether it's actually a color or not. Then she says that when she was young she used to have a crazy idea that Cackle's was a school for witches. Everyone laughs uncomfortably.
She says that they can do whatever they like for their projects. Maud and Miss Cackle team up to paint a portrait, and Mildred offers to pose for them. Miss Crotchet wants to do a landscape. Enid, Ruby and Jadu want to do a weird project that "Lets you see in people's heads or something".
Everyone goes their separate ways. Miss Hardbroom tries to draw something (in her classroom, away from everyone) but it doesn't go very well, So she magics a picture on the page. Lamplighter shows up just then and compliments her on the detail. "It's like a photocopy!" Then she says it lacks heart, pats miss Hardbroom on the shoulder and leaves again. Miss Hardbroom magically erases the page.
Meanwhile, Drusilla's doing a sculpture of Ethel, but the nose keeps falling off. Ethel asks Lamplighter (who's doing a tour to see what everyone's up to) if she went to art college. Lamplighter says that she was self-taught.
Ethel refuses to get involved, stating that she thinks Art Week is a waste of time - it used to be about drawing useful plants - and Miss Lamplighter is not a real teacher. After Miss Cackle reveals to Ethel that Lamplighter is in fact a highly successful artist whose paintings sell for thousands, Ethel is determined to win the prize and have her work shown alongside Miss Lamplighter's. Realising the only real threat is Maud, Ethel orders Drusilla to start her sculpture again and make it better.
Meanwhile, Miss Cackle and Maud are each drawing pictures of Mildred. Maud's is brilliant except that the eyes don't look right. Mildred comes over and tells her that the eyes go in the middle of the head. The way she talks, she sounds like she knows a lot about it, and Miss Cackle says so. Mildred explains that she used to take art at her junior school, but that her art teacher used to look over her shoulder and criticize her the whole time. She was so nervous that she couldn't start anything until the end of class, and then it was too late.
Lamplighter overhears and brings Mildred a sketchbook, telling her to go off by herself to draw something in private. Miss Cackle suggests that she take Tabby and go for a walk in the woods. After Lamplighter's gone, Miss Cackle makes a copy of Mildred to stand in for her as a subject (it's an intangible replica that looks exactly like the real Mildred). "We won't tell Miss Hardbroom. She finds one Mildred Hubble quite enough."
Mildred's sketching Tabby in the woods when he wanders away. Not too far off, Miss Hardbroom's drawing, and talking to Miss Crotchet (who's knee deep in the river) about art and color and light and so on. Ethel and Drusilla are sitting under a tree. Miss Hardbroom tells Ethel that she has discovered that there is more to painting. "And I expect you to discover the same thing."
Ethel sees Tabby wander by, and she and Drusilla follow him. Miss Hardbroom's busy trying to fish Crotchet out of the river with a branch. (Crotchet fell in when we weren't looking).
Meanwhile, Mildred discovers that she is a talented artist and her drawings are superb. She goes to look for Tabby as she's just noticed him missing, and Ethel gets a look at her sketches and realises that Mildred is in fact the threat. She hands the book to Drusilla and magics up a wind that blows the sketches away. Mildred comes back and they do their best to look sorry. "We were trying to catch your drawings... I hope they weren't anything important." Mildred says they're not, and that she already has a better idea for a drawing.
That night, Mildred's sitting at her window, finishing up a drawing of the view. There's a knock at the door, and she stashes the sketchbook under her pillow. It's only Enid, Maud, Ruby and Jadu. They're all excited over the art competition. Enid and co. have finally designed their project- A 'heart detector'. They notice the sketchbook sticking out from under the pillow and look at the drawing. Maud suddenly storms away.
Mildred runs into Maud where the art's on display and asks her what's wrong. Maud is jealous of Mildred's talent and the two have an argument, causing Mildred to tear up her drawing and retreat to her room. Ethel looks happy. She destroys the last of Drusilla's sculptures and tells her that she never had a chance. "But you do now."
Ethel and Drusilla sneak to Mildred's room and transform her into a statue which they then enter as their artwork, although Drusilla is visibly uncomfortable about this. Maud's worried about Mildred. She has a feeling that she's in danger, or that she's run away again. Miss Cackle says not to worry about it, and that they'll search the school as soon as the presentation is over. "Mildred's very good at hiding."
Both Maud and Miss Lamplighter are spooked by the Mildred scuplture, and Maud realises that the statue is really Mildred. Then they put the statue in The Heart Detector, and Maud casts a reversing spell. The statue shatters and Mildred steps out amid applause.
Miss Crotchet found Mildred's drawings in the river, and Miss Lamplighter awards the prize to Mildred for her talent with drawing.
HB: “splodges of paint? I don’t call that art!”
Drill: “it’s an extremely famous painting”
HB: “Famous for what?”
Lamplighter: I used to imagine that Cackle’s was a for school witches.” (laughs) (staff and student witches laugh)
Lamplighter: “here are all these portraits of proud and haughty women in pointy hats-Ohh, funny noses too.”
Ethel: “that, Miss Lamplighter, is my great aunt Hallow!”
Lamplighter: “oh.. You must be very proud... I mean, of her...”
HB and crochet drawing by the river- well, HB’s by the river, Crochet’s actually IN the river: Miss Crochet: “AHH!!”
HB: ‘what is it!?”
Miss Crochet: “the water’s gone over my boots.”
HB: “oh.” (thinks for goodness sake)
Miss Cackle: “it’s a holomagigram, see? We won’t let on to Miss Hardbroom will we Maud? She finds one Mildred Hubble quite enough to cope with!”
Ethel: “come on!”
Drusilla: “what about Hardbroom?”
(Crochet flailing and screaming in water as HB tries to get her out)
Ethel: “I think they’re going to be busy for a while.”
- Maud’s left handed! Watch while she’s drawing Millie!
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